ISSUE No. 49 | SEPTEMBER 2024
WELCOME
If you’re new to CULTIVARE we welcome you! CULTIVARE is a monthly field guide for life and faith, brought to you by TEND. Each month we explore a specific “field” – a topic or theme through which we seek to cultivate contemplation, engagement, and deeper understanding. Our guiding questions are:
What are you cultivating in your life?
What fruit do you want your life to bear?
Each issue of CULTIVARE is structured into three parts:
Cultivate: Examines a specific “Field” or facet of life and offers questions to unearth and challenge our held perspective; along with concise kernels of truth which we call “Seeds.”
Irrigate: Explores the ways we nurture our understanding, which varies from individual to individual. We offer six means of irrigation: Art, Poetry, Profile, Film, Essay, and Books.
Germinate: Encourages practical ways to engage in becoming more fruitful and free in our lives.
Our name, CULTIVARE, in Spanish means “I will cultivate.” We hope each issue of our field guide will encourage you to do just that – cultivate new thoughts, actions, faith, hope, and fruitful living. We invite you to dig in and DIG DEEP!
FIELD
For we are partners working together for God, and you are God's field.
(I Corinthians 3:9)
Our theme this month is RESPECT. Respect is something we all desire. Respect is knowing the true value of people and things and treating them with appreciation, understanding, and even a sense of reverence. It is a concept that is not widely understood in our Western culture.
Because respect is not widely understood it can often be found in short supply. American leaders today often do not model respectful behavior. Like many, they confuse respect with compliance, loyalty, or obedience. But neither compliance nor loyalty nor obedience lead to true respect – for ourselves or for others.
Perhaps we are living in a Rodney Dangerfield cultural moment. Dangerfield was a popular American comedian during the latter half of the twentieth century. He was famous for repeatedly stating: “I get no respect!” The line resonated with many people. (Watch this 4-minute video to better understand Dangerfield and his view of “No Respect”: View Now ).
If we look to the etymology of the word “respect,” we find it comes from the Latin word “respectus” which means “to regard, to look again, to consider.” In essence, the word respect is calling us to look at ourselves and at others not on a surface level but on a deeper level. Respect asks us to look beyond appearances to the deeper reality and abiding truth. It goes counter to quick judgments and first impressions. Respect literally means for us to look back often to consider the true worth.
When we have respect for ourselves, knowing our inherent worthiness, we have an expectation that others will respect us in return. These expectations are not always met, but our self-respect affords us compassion. We know that those who don't respect themselves or know their own worthiness won't have the self-respect to extend to us in return.
In this issue you will find an article illuminating the story behind Aretha Franklin’s arrangement of the song “Respect” and how it reverberated with the cultural times. We feature an essay highlighting ten women in the Gospels with whom Jesus modeled counter-cultural respect. And our Profile of the month is of Fred Rogers, more commonly known as “Mr. Rogers,” who taught and modeled respect for generations of children.
The insightful and gifted poet Maya Angelou once wrote: "If we lose our love and self-respect and respect for each other, this is how we will finally die." This recalls the question posed to Jesus in Matthew 22:36-40: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” God commands us to grow in our respect for others and ourselves. May his Spirit empower us to do so! (DG)
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Stand up in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God.
I am the LORD. (Leviticus 19:32 NIV)
Do for others what you want them to do for you: this is the meaning of the Law of Moses
and of the teachings of the prophets. (Matthew 7:12 GNT)
Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you,
who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. (1 Thessalonians 5:12-13 NIV)
SEEDS
A handful of quotes to contemplate and cultivate into your life
If the traditional Rs (reading, writing, and arithmetic) are the basics that we want our children to master academically, then reverence, respect, and responsibility are the three Rs that our children need to master for the sake of their souls and the health of the world. (Zoe Weil)
Respect a man, and he will do all the more. (John Wooden)
I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university. (Albert Einstein)
A little consideration, a little thought for others makes all the difference. (Eeyore)
The truest form of love is how you behave toward someone, not how you feel about them. (Steve Hall)
Abuse and respect are diametric opposites: You do not respect someone whom you abuse, and you do not abuse someone whom you respect. (Lundy Bancroft)
When we demonize our enemies calling them names and identifying them with absolute evil we deny that they have that of God within them that makes transformation possible. (Walter Wink)
It’s very dramatic when two people come together to work something out. It’s easy to take a gun and annihilate your opposition, but what is really exciting to me is to see people with differing views come together and finally respect each other. (Fred Rogers)
In order to survive, a plurality of true communities would require not egalitarianism and tolerance but knowledge, an understanding of the necessity of local differences, and respect. Respect, I think, always implies imagination - the ability to see one another, across our inevitable differences, as living souls. (Wendell Berry)
ART
“Respect”
by Aretha Franklin
Is respect something we earn or is it something we demand? Do we respect others because we admire their character or because we fear their position? Aretha Franklin’s “Respect” argues that it’s neither: it is something deserved by both parties in a reciprocal relationship. In this issue’s artist feature, we highlight Aretha Franklin and her version of the song “Respect,” a cover of Otis Redding’s original. In the article below, you can learn how she reinterpreted Redding’s sentiments to stake a claim for mutual respect between marriage partners. As the song gained popularity, its call for respect between men and women became applied to respect between races; from there it grew to challenge all of us to consider how we might respond to others by giving respect where it is due. (OM)
Read Rachel Chang’s article in Biography.com entitled Aretha Franklin: The Powerful Meaning Behind Her Equality Anthem “Respect.” View Now
POETRY
You Reading This, Be Ready
by William Stafford
Starting here, what do you want to remember?
How sunlight creeps along a shining floor?
What scent of old wood hovers, what softened
sound from outside fills the air?
Will you ever bring a better gift for the world
than the breathing respect that you carry
wherever you go right now? Are you waiting
for time to show you some better thoughts?
When you turn around, starting here, lift this
new glimpse that you found; carry into evening
all that you want from this day. This interval you spent
reading or hearing this, keep it for life –
What can anyone give you greater than now,
starting here, right in this room, when you turn around?
PROFILE
Fred Rogers
By Billy Brummel
For our profile this month we look to the life of Fred McFeely Rogers, affectionately known the world over as Mister Rogers. Born in Latrobe, Pennsylvania in 1928, Fred had a somewhat difficult childhood due to his asthma and being overweight. Once he reached high school he blossomed, becoming student council president, a member of the National Honor Society and editor of the yearbook. He attended Rollins College, graduating magna cum laude in 1951; that same year he had his first experience with the new medium of television in his parents’ house. Initially he detested the obnoxious programming, but eventually realized he could create programming that would serve to build and inspire rather than echo humanity’s basest desires, saying to himself “Children deserve better. Children need better.” He embarked on a television career that took him from NBC in New York City to WQED in Pittsburgh, during which time he managed to acquire his Masters of Divinity from Pittsburgh Theological Seminary while also taking coursework at the University of Pittsburgh’s School of Child Development. It was there that he would first connect with child psychologist Margaret McFarland, who served as his consultant on Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood for over 30 years. Rogers made his screen debut in 1963 on a 15 minute long Canadian Broadcasting Corporation show called Misterogers. In 1968 Rogers and his family moved back to Pittsburgh where Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood debuted on WQED and aired 180 black and white episodes. Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood went on to run continuously until 2001.
The poet Wendell Berry said, “Respect, I think, always implies imagination—the ability to see one another, across our inevitable differences, as living souls”. This month we look to the life of Fred Rogers to observe the marvelous ways he engaged his imagination in the service of the souls of millions of children. Every day Mr. Rogers would hang up his coat, don his cardigan and change into sneakers, essentially telling his viewers that he was setting aside this time specifically for them. He once said: “Although children’s ‘outsides’ may have changed a lot, their inner needs have remained very much the same. Society seems to be pushing children to grow faster, but their developmental tasks have remained constant.” In 1969 he testified in front of a Senate hearing about a funding bill for PBS programming. Rogers was so disarmingly respectful and earnest in his presentation that he almost single-handedly secured the necessary funding. Watch the video below and allow him to share his own vision and witness the respect he confers upon the senator and message of respect he wishes to bring to children.
FILM
Each month we recommend films focused on our theme
Feature Film
Gran Torino (2008)
Retired auto worker and Korean War vet Walt Kowalski (Clint Eastwood) fills emptiness in his life with beer and home repair, despising the many Asian, Latino and black families in his neighborhood. Walt becomes a reluctant hero when he stands up to the gangbangers who tried to force an Asian teen to steal Walt's treasured car. An unlikely friendship develops between Walt and the teen, as he learns he has more in common with his neighbors than he thought. Directed by Clint Eastwood. Available on various streaming services.
Short Film
The Rabbi’s Gift (6 minutes)
This original story appears as the prologue of psychiatrist M. Scott Peck's book, The Different Drum: Community Making and Peace. The short film is narrated by M. Scott Peck.
Ted Talk
How Judges Can Show Respect:
Victoria Pratt (16 minutes)
In halls of justice around the world, how can we ensure everyone is treated with dignity and respect? A pioneering judge in New Jersey, Victoria Pratt, shares her principles of "procedural justice" -- four simple, thoughtful steps that redefined the everyday business of her courtroom in Newark, changing lives along the way. "When the court behaves differently, naturally people respond differently," Pratt says. "We want people to enter our halls of justice ... and know that justice will be served there."
ESSAY
Welcome, Respect, Affirmation:
How Jesus Interacted with Women
By Subby Szterszky
In this 2020 article from Focus on the Family (Canada) author Subby Szterszky confronts a contemporary narrative categorizing Christianity as antagonistic toward or outright anti-women. In her thoughtful article, Szterszky illuminates the stories of ten women who interacted with Jesus (as recorded in the Bible), and spotlights Jesus’ instructive model of welcoming, affirming, and respecting women-- no matter their personal history, physical health, or social position. As Szterszky points out: “Everything Jesus said and did with respect to women was radically countercultural within Jewish as well as Greco-Roman society.” She observes:
There’s a popular narrative floating about in the cultural currents that depicts Christianity as unwelcoming or even hostile toward women. What’s more, the claim is that it has always been so. The church was born, the story goes, out of a social matrix shaped by patriarchy and oppression, and these attitudes have persisted to the present day.
But a look at early church history yields the opposite picture. Compared to the misogyny prevalent in the ancient Greco-Roman world, Christianity was countercultural in its affirmation of women. And women, in turn, flocked to the church in droves. Sociologist Rodney Stark estimates that two-thirds of the church in the first couple of centuries was female. In fact, early pagan critics like Celsus and Lucian derided Christianity for being a religion of women.
How to account for this? In a word, Jesus. As creator and lord of the church – and of everything else, for that matter – Jesus is the authoritative model for how we live and treat one another, in his church and in his world. And, in his interactions with women, he welcomed, respected and affirmed them as valued sisters made in the image of God.
Read the entire article here: View Now
BOOKS
Each month we recommend a book (or two) focused on our theme
NON-FICTION
A Gentle Answer:
Our "Secret Weapon" in an Age of Us Against Them
By Scott Sauls
A remarkable vision for how Christians can live with countercultural gentleness
in a perpetually angry, attacking, outraged time.
In a defensive and divided era, how can followers of Jesus reveal a better way of living, one that loves others as God loves us? How can Christians be the kind of people who are known, as Proverbs puts it, to "turn away wrath?" Scott Sauls's compelling new book shows Christians how to become people of "a gentle answer" in a politically, relationally, and culturally fractured world by helping readers:
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grow in affection for Christ, who answers our hostility with gentleness
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nurture a renewed, softened heart in light of Christ's gentleness toward us
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and catch a vision to forsake us-against-them mentalities, put down our swords, and "infect" a hostile world with gentleness.
For those who long for a more civil way of being, A Gentle Answer reveals why answering hostility with gentleness is essential, how we can nurture our hearts to do so, and what a gentle answer looks like, both in the church and in the world.
FICTION
Lila
By Marilynne Robinson
Marilynne Robinson, one of the greatest novelists of our time, returns to the town of Gilead in an unforgettable story of a girlhood lived on the fringes of society in fear, awe, and wonder.
Lila, homeless and alone after years of roaming the countryside, steps inside a small-town Iowa church--the only available shelter from the rain--and ignites a romance and a debate that will reshape her life. She becomes the wife of a minister, John Ames, and begins a new existence while trying to make sense of the life that preceded her newfound security.
Neglected as a toddler, Lila was rescued by Doll, a canny young drifter, and brought up by her in a hardscrabble childhood. Together they crafted a life on the run, living hand to mouth with nothing but their sisterly bond and a ragged blade to protect them. Despite bouts of petty violence and moments of desperation, their shared life was laced with moments of joy and love. When Lila arrives in Gilead, she struggles to reconcile the life of her makeshift family and their days of hardship with the gentle Christian worldview of her husband which paradoxically judges those she loves.
Revisiting the beloved characters and setting of Robinson's Pulitzer Prize-winning Gilead and Home (a National Book Award finalist), Lila is a moving expression of the mysteries of existence that is destined to become an American classic.
CHILDRENS
Respectful Ninja:
A Children's Book About Showing and Giving Respect
by Mary Nhin
Respectful Ninja learns that showing respect is when you care about how your actions impact others and the world.
Find out how what happens in this story about respect.
Life is hard! It's even harder for children who are just trying to figure things out.
The children's book series, Ninja Life Hacks, was developed to help children learn valuable life skills. Fun, pint-size characters in comedic books easy enough for young readers yet witty enough for adults.
The Ninja Life Hacks book series is geared to kids 4-10. Perfect for boys, girls, early readers, primary school students, or toddlers. Excellent resource for counselors, parents, and teachers alike.
DIG DEEPER
Practical suggestions to help you go deeper into our theme
1. QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION
Devote some time and thought to these reflective questions on our theme:
a. Why is it important to show respect to others, even if they are different from us?
b. Can you recall a time when someone showed you respect? How did it make you feel?
c. What are some ways we can show respect through our actions and beliefs?
d. How can having an open mind help us be more respectful towards others?
e. What is the connection between respect and spiritual health?
f. Who in your life are you aware that you need to be more respectful toward?
g. What tangible ways can you show respect to that person?
2. 15 WAYS TO SHOW RESPECT FOR OTHERS
In this article from Science of People, author Rob Hwang spotlights a study which reveals that respecting others is a fundamental aspect of building positive relationships, providing harmony in society, and promoting a culture of empathy and understanding. He offers 15 ways to show respect to others.
3. RESPECT: HOW TO GIVE AND GET RESPECT IN NEGOTIATIONS
Respect is an important element of negotiation. It’s important to give respect—and to earn it.
In this Psychology Today article author Cindy Watson offers some practical suggestions to give respect to a variety of individuals from children to coworkers, to the elderly.
4. ST. BENEDICT AND RESPECT FOR PERSONS
In this 5-minute video, St. Benedict’s rule for Respect for Persons is spotlighted. As the Rule of Benedict 72.7 reads: No one is to pursue what is judged best for oneself, but instead, what is better for someone else.
5. PRAYER
Dear Jesus,
We praise you for your goodness and mercy and thank you for the example of respect in your life. You were considerate to everyone you met, especially the poor and the sick, who came to you for help. Please help us to notice and respect the feelings of those around us as you did. Remind us to use courteous language at all times and not to keep others waiting on us. Guide us in honoring our elders and our authorities. Please help us to act in all things in harmony with the will of the Father.
AMEN.
ROOTED
But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.
(Jeremiah 17:7-8 NIV)
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FIELD NOTES
Images used in order of appearance:
1. FIELD: Jean Fruth, Players from Tokyo-Kitasuna and Musashi-Fuchu bow to each other, Tokyo-Kitasuna Volunteer Stadium, Tokyo, Japan. (Photo by Jean Fruth) Tokyo Japan, March 5, 2017
https://www.jeanfruthimages.com/gallery-image/Japan/G0000wUjRsViMDxM/I0000Q2y7B3bHNRw
2. SEEDS: Meeting of the United Nations Security Council in 2014.
Pete Souza—Official White House Photo
https://www.britannica.com/topic/United-Nations-Security-Council
3. ART: Aretha Franklin, “Baby I Love You,” Atlantic Records, 1967
4. POETRY: svenstudios
https://svenstudios.com/2023/02/walking-down-the-aisle-tips/
5. PROFILE: Walt Seng/Fred Rogers Productions, Fred Rogers, Daniel Tiger puppet and a replica of King Friday's castle
6. FILM: "Gran Torino" https://movie.webindia123.com/film/movie/442/gran-torino/
7. ESSAY: Jesus, right, played by Jonathan Roumie, speaks with female characters in “The Chosen” during a scene in Season 2. The Chosen (photo: Angel Studios).
8. BOOKS: Charles J. Sharp, Red-billed oxpecker on female impala, Chobe National Park, Botswana, March 13, 2018
9. DIG DEEPER: The Boston Globe, Korean War Veteran, National Geographic Education
https://education.nationalgeographic.org/resource/veteran/
10. ROOTED: The Catholic Sun, The seven sacraments of Eucharist, 2015
https://thecatholicsun.com/the-seven-sacraments-eucharist/
TEAM CULTIVARE: Duane Grobman (Editor), Billy Brummel, Amy Drennan, Greg Ehlert, Bonnie Fearer, Ben Hunter, Eugene Kim, Olivia Mather, Andrew Massey, Rita McIntosh, Heather Shackelford, Jason Pearson (Design: Pearpod.com)
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Email us at: info@tendwell.org
