ISSUE No. 53 | DECEMBER 2024
WELCOME
If you’re new to CULTIVARE we welcome you! CULTIVARE is a monthly field guide for life and faith, brought to you by TEND. Each month we explore a specific “field” – a topic or theme through which we seek to cultivate contemplation, engagement, and deeper understanding. Our guiding questions are:
What are you cultivating in your life?
What fruit do you want your life to bear?
Each issue of CULTIVARE is structured into three parts:
Cultivate: Examines a specific “Field” or facet of life and offers questions to unearth and challenge our held perspective; along with concise kernels of truth which we call “Seeds.”
Irrigate: Explores the ways we nurture our understanding, which varies from individual to individual. We offer six means of irrigation: Art, Poetry, Profile, Film, Essay, and Books.
Germinate: Encourages practical ways to engage in becoming more fruitful and free in our lives.
Our name, CULTIVARE, in Spanish means “I will cultivate.” We hope each issue of our field guide will encourage you to do just that – cultivate new thoughts, actions, faith, hope, and fruitful living. We invite you to dig in and DIG DEEP!
FIELD
For we are partners working together for God, and you are God's field.
(I Corinthians 3:9)
Our theme this month is RE-STORY. You read that correctly, RE-STORY. As we transition from the year 2024 to 2025, and, as we transition from our December issue on STORY, how might you go about writing a new story in your life? How might you start a new chapter? What are ways you could reauthor your life with an eye toward growth and change? What steps could you take to let go of historic barriers and burdens, connect with your soul, awaken anew, and be fully present? Are there stories you’ve been telling yourself that you need to replace or rewrite?
A starting point is honest prayer – prayer in the sense that author Frederick Buechner speaks of when he observed: If God speaks to us at all other than through such official channels as the Bible and the church, then I think that he speaks to us largely through what happens to us…. His word to each of us is both recoverable and precious beyond telling. In that sense autobiography becomes a way of praying, and….if it matters at all, matters mostly as a call to prayer.
As you contemplate the stories that will comprise your autobiography in 2025, what changes would you like to pray and work toward? What steps of faith would you like to take? In what areas of your life would you like God’s light and love to break through and bring change? We can’t change the past, but we can author new life narratives.
In this issue we profile psychologist Dan Allender who skillfully teaches individuals emerging from trauma, pain, and perplexity how to reauthor their life story toward freedom, grace, and redemption. We feature a poem by David Whyte and spotlight the restoration of Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris. We also feature the essay “Shaped by the Story” by Barbara Horkoff Mutch which illuminates the power of God’s word in helping us write our life story.
Author Donald Miller writes in his book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years of a revealing conversation he had with a friend. Miller recalls:
“You’re writing another book about yourself?” Jordan asked. He was sitting at the counter in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal….
“I’m not writing a book. I’m not talking about a book. I’m talking about me. I don’t think I’m telling a good story.”
“I think you tell good stories. Lots of people think so.”
“I tell good stories in books. I don’t live good stories.”
Jordan poured more milk on his cereal. He was looking at me while pouring the milk. He was squinting his eyes a little and furrowing his brow. He stopped pouring the milk. He kept looking at me for ten seconds or more, like he was studying me.
“You’re right,” he finally said. “You aren’t living a good story.”
“That’s what I was saying.”
“I see,” he said.
“What do I do about that?”
“You’re a writer. You know what to do.”
“No, I don’t.”
Jordan looked at me with his furrowed brow again. “You put something on the page,” he said. “Your life is a blank page. You write on it.”
Here’s to writing on the blank pages of 2025. May God encourage and empower us all to write a good new story this year. (DG)
***
And I will give them singleness of heart and put a new spirit within them.
I will take away their stony, stubborn heart and give them a tender, responsive heart.
(Ezekiel 11:19 NLT)
Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history. Be alert, be present.
I'm about to do something brand-new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it? There it is!
I'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands.
(Isaiah 43:18-19 MSG)
Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start,
is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it!
(2 Corinthians 5:17 MSG)
“He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow
or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!” And then he said to me,
“Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.”
(Revelation 21:4-5 NLT)
***
TEND CAN HELP! If you would like to take tangible steps working toward a new chapter in your life TEND can help. Explore our offerings by clicking here:
SEEDS
A handful of quotes to contemplate and cultivate into your life
You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. (C.S. Lewis)
Think about the word destroy. Do you know what it is? De-story. Destroy. Destory. You see. And restore. That's re-story. Do you know that only two things have been proven to help survivors of the Holocaust? Massage is one. Telling their story is another. Being touched and touching. Telling your story is touching. It sets you free. (Francesca Lia Block)
Collaboration is all about rewriting and rewriting and rewriting and helping each other to constantly improve a piece. And, it's also about spurring each other on to doing really great, hard work - it's easier to do it in a collaboration than on your own. (Alan Menken)
One day, you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide. (Brene Brown)
No matter how you started out, God can re-write your story and give you an ending you never thought possible. (Ngina Otlende)
God is the Word, the Author of our story, and He keeps writing the story until the last line is good. (Ann Voskamp)
There are times you must risk unraveling the life you have in order to create the life God wants for you. (Leslie Vernick)
Circumstances may appear to wreck our lives and God’s plans, but God is not helpless among the ruins. God’s love is still working. He comes in and takes the calamity and uses it victoriously, working out his wonderful plan of love. (Eric Liddell)
Even though you cannot change the events of your story, you can change the way you experience your story. (Curt Thompson)
ART
The Restoration
of Notre Dame Cathedral
After a devastating fire in 2019, the famed Notre Dame Cathedral began welcoming worshippers and visitors again last month, following five years of focused and faithful restoration.
The restoration of the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris is a powerful illustration of the ways artists and craftspeople, architects and engineers, Church leaders and faithful believers, government officials and non-profit leaders, mothers and fathers, sons and daughters, rallied and responded to loss, by preserving the cathedral’s legacy and working to bring fresh vision and vitality to a monument of enduring light, love, and life. Notre Dame’s reopening is a testament to the over 10,000 individuals who physically worked to bring about its restoration and a global community who offered financial and prayer support to see it become a reality. It can serve as inspiration for each of us to transform loss and longing into renewed vision and hope.
To learn more about the newest chapter in the cathedral’s 860-year history, we recommend the following resources:
Read the National Geographic article: Everything You Need to Know about the Reopening of Notre Dame View Now
Watch PBS Video: Notre Dame Cathedral to Reopen View Now
Listen to NPR story: A Sound Mirror: Notre Dame Cathedral’s Restoration Can Be Heard In It’s Resonance View Now
Fallen debris from the burned-out roof structure inside Notre-Dame Cathedral.
Photo Credit...Christophe Morin
POETRY
The Opening of Eyes
by David Whyte
That day I saw beneath dark clouds
the passing light over the water
and I heard the voice of the world speak out,
I knew then, as I had before
life is no passing memory of what has been
nor the remaining pages in a great book
waiting to be read.
It is the opening of eyes long closed.
It is the vision of far off things
seen for the silence they hold.
It is the heart after years
of secret conversing
speaking out loud in the clear air.
It is Moses in the desert
fallen to his knees before the lit bush.
It is the man throwing away his shoes
as if to enter heaven
and finding himself astonished,
opened at last,
fallen in love with solid ground.
PROFILE
Dan Allender
By Greg Ehlert
Dr. Dan B. Allender is a Christian, PhD psychologist who founded the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology in 1997. A prolific author who has written over a dozen books, often with his good friend and Old Testament scholar, Tremper Longman III, Allender invites readers to discover the parts of their own stories that need to be engaged with greater curiosity and kindness. A seminal book on the subject of “Story Work,” the journey of integrating one’s trauma through God’s healing touch, is To Be Told: God Invites You to Coauthor Your Future.
After receiving his Master of Divinity from Westminster Theological Seminary, Dan earned his Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Michigan State University. Dan previously served on faculty at the Biblical Counseling Department of Grace Theological Seminary (1983-1989) and Colorado Christian University (1989-1997). Dan and a group of other trusted friends/colleagues founded The Seattle School in order to train therapists, pastors, artists, and leaders to more effectively serve in the context of the 21st century. Dan served as President of The Seattle School from 2002-2009.
In 2011 Dan founded the Allender Center which helps pastors, counselors, and Christian lay-leaders grow and heal from trauma and abuse through workshops, trainings, and resources. Central to Allender’s approach is the goal of being “Re-Storied,” where the narrative of our identities is restored to the original God-given goodness intended from the beginning. A helpful summary of Dan’s theory can be found on the Allender Center website where it states, “Core to The Allender Theory is the belief that the journey of healing invites us to move from a place of cursing (contempt, shame, ambivalence) to one of blessing (compassion, goodness, delight). This occurs through telling our stories with truth and integrity as we grieve our wounds and offer blessing to the parts of us still bound to the cursed story. As we share our story with trusted others who are able to name both our deep woundedness and our deep goodness, we grow a deeper capacity to know and live into our calling and engage in life-giving relationships with God and others.”
The central offering of the Allender Center is the Story Workshop where participants gather together from a Thursday afternoon through Sunday noon to learn from Dan Allender and engage their stories with others in a small group setting. Allender’s teaching is brilliant, intense, and disruptive and often leaves participants stirred, shaken, and even disoriented. Working through painful experiences in the company of a supportive community helps transform the trauma and false narratives of participants into a more integrated wholeness. The process of being “Re-Storied” can be difficult, challenging, and overwhelming but the fruit of being restored to one’s original glory and goodness is worth the effort.
Dan Allender continues to speak at churches, conventions, and conferences on the topics of trauma and abuse, sexual abuse and recovery, marriage & intimacy, and love and forgiveness. He is the co-host of the Allender Center Podcast which is full of life-giving conversations with co-host Rachael Clinton Chen and guests. His newest book, The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight will be released in January 2025.
FILM
Each month we recommend films focused on our theme
Feature Film
Finding Forester
(2000)
Jamal Wallace (Robert Brown) is an inner-city kid from the Bronx who has an aptness for basketball and a genius at writing. While always a C student, Jamal comes to the attention of a prestigious New York prep school when he scores highly on his standardized tests. While Jamal is given a heavy load at his new school, both he and the school know that the real reason they took him on is for his prowess on the court. Befriended by fellow student Clair (Anna Paquin) and helped along by Pulitzer-prize winning author and recluse William Forrester (Sean Connery), Jamal pursues his dreams both on and off the court while overcoming obstacles placed by his bitter literature teacher. As Jamal is shaped by Forrester, he finds that he is changing the old writer as well, forcing him to confront his past….and his future. Directed by Gus Van Sant. Available on various streaming services.
Watch trailer: View Now
Documentary Film
Capital C
(2015)
Capital C is a documentary feature film about crowdfunding by directors Jorg Kundinger and Timon Birkhofer. The movie was co-funded by a crowdfunding campaign on Kickstarter.com and is the world's first feature-length documentary about the topic. Capital C focuses on the hopes and dreams as well as the fears and pitfalls of independent creators in the wake of the digital age. Available on various streaming services.
Trailer: View Now
Short Film
Dove Real Beauty Sketches
(6 minutes)
Gil Zamora is an FBI-trained forensics artist with over 3,000 criminal sketches under his belt. The skin and beauty care company Dove hired him to interview and draw seven different women—two sketches of each. The first sketch was based on each woman's personal description of herself. The second was based on a description provided by a stranger the woman had just met. The differences are vast. Watching these women come face to face with the version of themselves in their mind and the version everyone else sees is extraordinary. It's one of the most original and touching experiments to come from the Campaign for Real Beauty in ages. Watch the video here:
Ted Talk
The Secret to Mastering Life’s Biggest Transitions
(18 minutes)
How do you navigate life's growing number of transitions with meaning, purpose and skill? Writer Bruce Feiler offers a powerful way to handle uncertain, painful and confusing times -- or "lifequakes”, as he calls them. Learn how to equip yourself with the essential tools and mindset to ride out (and rewrite) the toughest chapters of your life story, and turn unease and upheaval into growth and renewal.
View here: View Now
ESSAY
Shaped by the Story:
Narrative, Formation, and the Word
By Barbara Horkoff Mutch
In this excellent article in Conversatio, professor and author Barbara Horkoff Mutch thoughtfully examines the foundational and formative role of stories in our spiritual lives. She observes:
A primary task of spiritual formation is to learn to find ourselves narrated into the great God Story. This involves attending to the relationship or the interweaving between the Great Story, biblical stories, and our personal story. At the intersection of our story and the God Story lies our meeting place with God. God waits to shape us at the place where our story encounters God’s Story.
In the article Mutch illuminates the following five facets of story and formation:
1. What Kinds of Stories Matter?
2. Stories of Separation
3. Stories of Transformation
4. Formative Questions
5. A Storied Perspective
As you engage in “re-storying” your life this year, we encourage you to take to heart and mind Mutch’s words:
As we consider our own lives with God and as we walk with others in spiritual companionship, nothing can take the place of the convicting, life-giving Word. It is through the Word that I most clearly recognize my separation from myself and from others, as well as from the Author of the Word. It is through the Word that my eyes are trained to recognize the God who, in the midst of my sin and separation, nevertheless comes to me in love and grace. As we walk together with others on the Way, there is much to be gained from seeking to develop a storied perspective to our spiritual formation.
We invite our readers to read the entire article here: View Now
BOOKS
Each month we recommend a book (or two) focused on our theme
NON-FICTION
The Soul of Shame:
Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves
By Curt Thompson
We're all infected with a spiritual disease. Its name is shame.
Whether we realize it or not, shame affects every aspect of our personal lives and vocational endeavors. It seeks to destroy our identity in Christ, replacing it with a damaged version of ourselves that results in unhealed pain and brokenness. But God is telling a different story for your life.
Psychiatrist Curt Thompson unpacks the soul of shame, revealing its ubiquitous nature and neurobiological roots. He also provides the theological and practical tools necessary to dismantle shame, based on years of researching its damaging effects and counseling people to overcome those wounds.
Thompson's expertise and compassion will help you identify your own pains and struggles and find freedom from the lifelong negative messages that bind you. Rewrite the story of your life and embrace healing and wholeness as you discover and defeat shame's insidious agenda.
FICTION
The Midnight Library
By Matt Haig
Somewhere out beyond the edge of the universe there is a library that contains an infinite number of books, each one the story of another reality. One tells the story of your life as it is, along with another book for the other life you could have lived if you had made a different choice at any point in your life. While we all wonder how our lives might have been, what if you had the chance to go to the library and see for yourself? Would any of these other lives truly be better?
In The Midnight Library, Matt Haig's enchanting blockbuster novel, Nora Seed finds herself faced with this decision. Faced with the possibility of changing her life for a new one, following a different career, undoing old breakups, realizing her dreams of becoming a glaciologist; she must search within herself as she travels through the Midnight Library to decide what is truly fulfilling in life, and what makes it worth living in the first place.
CHILDRENS
The Dot
by Peter H. Reynolds
Vashti starts with a single dot on a piece of paper and learns to explore her creative potential, leading her to inspire others. This story encourages children to see themselves as creators of their own lives.
View the book: View Now
Watch the book read aloud: View Now
DIG DEEPER
Practical suggestions to help you go deeper into our theme
1. QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION
Devote some time and thought to these reflective questions on our theme:
a. As you envision 2025, in what areas of your life would you like to start a new chapter?
b. What issues in your life hinder or block the unfolding of a new chapter?
c. What steps can you take to navigate and/or confront the hindrances/blocks?
d. What word or phrase captures your hope for this new chapter?
e. How might you devote time to engage in authoring this new chapter?
f. What is needed to pave the path for a deeper transformation?
2. HOW TO WRITE A STORY
Want to get started writing your story? Therapist Adam Young offers a helpful guide to engaging your personal story in deeper ways.
3. STORY WORKSHIPS WITH THE ALLENDER CENTER
Ready to take the next step in starting a new chapter. Explore the Story Workshops offered by the Allender Center. Many are online, so no need to travel. Their workshops include teaching couples with extensive small group time led by one of their skilled facilitators. They create a safe space to share and explore life experiences for the purpose of receiving feedback, illumination, and meaningful care.
4. TEN QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF AT THE START OF A NEW YEAR
Time magazine asked experts to share what they thought individuals should ask themselves at the start of 2025 to make it a year of growth and happiness.
5. PRAYER
Author of my life,
Organize my days, I pray,
by the working of your Spirit
in my midst.
Organize my thoughts, I pray,
by the working of your Spirit
in my mind.
Organize my emotions, I pray,
by the working of your Spirit
in my inmost heart.
Organize my desires, I pray,
by the working of your Spirit
in my will.
Organize my relationships, I pray,
by the working of your Spirit
in my labor, home, and leisure.
Illuminate this life, God,
illuminate me.
AMEN
(Adapted from Canyon Road by Kara Kristina Reeves, page 34)
ROOTED
But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.
(Jeremiah 17:7-8 NIV)
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FIELD NOTES
Images used in order of appearance:
1. FIELD: Monarch Butterfly Caterpillar
https://tbrnewsmedia.com/gardening-identifying-caterpillars-in-the-garden/
2. SEEDS: Repurpose Everyday Kitchen Items, Maids by Trade
https://maidsbytrade.com/repurpose-kitchen-items/
3. ART: Photo by Christophe Petit Tesson/AFP, New altar (front) designed by French artist and designer Guillaume Bardet, at the Notre-Dame de Paris cathedral, in Paris on Nov. 29, 2024
https://www.npr.org/2024/11/29/nx-s1-5210589/restored-notre-dame-cathedral-unveiled
4. POETRY: Five Examples of Repurposed Furniture, Colour Your Casa, 2019
https://colouryourcasa.com/5-examples-of-repurposed-furniture/
5. PROFILE: Photo of Dan Allender
https://theallendercenter.org/author/dallender/
6. FILM: Writer/director Kerem Sanga and editor Joshua Raymond Lee at the 2019 Editing Residency. Sundance Institute | Photo by Jen Fairchild
7. ESSAY: Photo by Lex Voight, The Last Bookstore, Los Angeles, CA.
https://www.lastbookstorela.com/copy-of-press
8. BOOKS: Rachel Whiteread, Embankment, Tate Modern, The Turbine Hall, 2005
9. DIG DEEPER: Benjamin Hunter, Wonderful Counselor, Mighty GOD, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace, 2024.
10. ROOTED: Monarch butterflies land on branches at Monarch Grove Sanctuary in Pacific Grove, Calif., on Nov. 10, 2021. (AP Photo/Nic Coury, File)
TEAM CULTIVARE: Duane Grobman (Editor), Greg Ehlert, Bonnie Fearer, Lisa Hertzog, Ben Hunter, Eugene Kim, Olivia Mather, Andrew Massey, Rita McIntosh, Jason Pearson (Design: Pearpod.com)
WE'RE LISTENING:
We welcome hearing your thoughts on this issue
and suggestions for future issues.
Email us at: info@tendwell.org
